While I rarely do any proper cooking or baking, I have an unjustifiable
love for kitchen accessories. (Perhaps this is linked to my love of
eating.) In my opinion, kitschy kitchens, well designed cookware and creative kitchen
gadgetry are right up there with sleek laptops and comfortable
underwear, so that may explain why I get rather annoyed at
some of the ridiculous crap people are selling online these days.
So, without further ado: My Top 5 Most Annoying Kitchen Accessories
1. Decorative Tiles With *Hilarious* Quotes on Them
I just hate them. I've never been a big fan of "quotes" and I find
these tiles even more annoying than those wooden signs you find at
tourist shops that say fun things like "I still miss my ex but my aim
is improving"; or those icky, catalog-purchased embroidered pillows
with PMS jokes on them. However, at least the pillows have a fucking
purpose.
If I see a tile with a joke about you crazy you are on it, I will run like the wind. (After I've eaten your food.)
2. *Fun & Retro" Rubber Gloves
Now, I'll be clear. I appreciate that Sainsburys and Target
provide both the regular rubber gloves and the pink ones, as I happen
to like the pink ones. (My kitchen sort of pink...) But these! These
drive me nuts.
There is no way you could actually wash the dishes with them, plus,
they're just fug. I know some version of these *fun and feminine*
gloves you could actually use, but what is the point of the ones you can't? To sit here and do nothing? Hey, thanks! Great gift idea. Why didn't you just get me a fun tile.
3.The Stiletto Cake Server
Apologies to all of you who have this on your ThisNext wish lists,
but I just can't stand it. Really? A stiletto? Why not just make it a
Manolo Blahnik and call it The Carrie Cake Server! But, I mean...I guess it make sense. You know how women are about their shoes...and their cake...and slicing their cake with their shoes...
4. FUN Ice!!!
Here's the thing about ice, folks. It melts. Therefore, I don't see the point in have fun
ice. Sure, it looks super neat having frozen teeth floating
around in your beverage for a good 15 seconds, but then when it
melts...show's over folks. To think you could have spent that $10 on a
movie ticket!
5. Toast Stamps
Honestly. I know that MSN want you to brand your boyfriends toast every morning as a way of staying romantic. ('Cuz, you know. Who doesn't get
up first thing in the morning, make their significant other some hot
bread and use it as a way of confirming their feelings for them.)
However, I see a few problems with this:
a) What if you want to actually put some peanut butter, jam
or butter on your toast? Can you imagine the heart break thousands,
nay, millions of women around the world who have put their Love On Toast only to have their boyfriends grunt a quick "thank you" and have their messages of comittment RUINED with grape jelly?!?!
b) Who the fuck has time to STAMP their TOAST!?!?