Being a knitter myself, it never ceases to amaze me what other knitters and crocheters will make. From educational birth dolls to perfect replicas of teratomas and giant car cozies, there are some truly wacky hand knit items out there. But personal interest aside, how would these unconventional craft projects come off as gifts? For the good humored, they could be the gift of a lifetime, but for the prudish... well, you'll see.
I guess I should apologize in advance for the "graphic" nature of some of these images, but odds are you're an adult with a pretty decent sense of humor since you are reading this website, and willingly opened this article. Although, really, it's not too late to turn back now... even though the most traumatizing toy is first.
Educational Childbirth Doll
As an educational implement, this is pretty genius. What a better way to teach your child about the miracle of life than with an anatomiclly correct doll, placenta and umbilical cord included? And she doesn't just give birth once! You can stuff that baby right back in there for future demonstrations. There's a pattern and a custom made doll available for purchase, and I'm kind of tempted to brush up on my crochet skills just to make one.
Baby's First Teratoma
Ok, I won't lie, I'm a little biased about loving this one. I lost half of my reproductive organs to a tumor a few years back, and my doctor tells me this hand knit teratoma is a pretty accurate representation of the type of tumor I had. I think, for most people, this one might fall into the "creepy" category...
The Womb
Not exactly anatomically correct enough to fall into the "educational category" (or as cool as Cate's anatomically correct vagina puppet, Sophie), but nevertheless cool, is a hand knit womb. If anything, you can throw it at someone next time they make an inappropriate abortion joke...
Korknisse
This is a really random thing to knit if you ask me. Cork warmers? Really? Knitters are so odd. And besides, would you really want a collection of these staring up (or down) at you? And! How many bottles of wine do you have to drink before you're considered sad, lonely, and a wine-o?
Dalek from Doctor Who
How the BBC hasn't found and removed this pattern from the world, I do not know. They're notorious for slapping fans with law suits because they make cute little craft projects and share them for free. Regardless, this guy is fucking scary looking. But, for the Doctor Who nuts out there, it may just be the best gift of the year.
I can't make excuses for my people, there's really no reason to knit some of these things other than pure eccentricity. But let's be real here, some of these are pretty awesome, especially if you think about the effort that went into designing them and sharing them with the world.
I guess this just goes to show that knitters and crocheters will stop at nothing to give you that extra special unique gift. And, well, maybe to prove that there is something out there creepier than the hand knit Santa sweater...