I am going to be honest. I live in a complete and utter mess.
If I was left to my own agenda, I would gradually fill the floor with used clothes, the tables with empty un-scraped plates, and would neatly and efficiently pile the bin higher and higher until eventually it collapsed under its own wait. Whilst I am happier in a tidy house, the effort involved in dragging my lazy arse off the sofa and towards my arch nemesis, the hoover, is more than I can be bothered to exert!
Yet most of the time when I have visitors, they see my house as tidy and fresh, with wide gleaming floors and even a made up bed. I achieve all of this with some tidying, but mainly with a little bit of misdirection. Read on for my ultimate tips for how to fake yourself tidy:
Distract!
Draw attention to other areas of the room clear the table and lay some artistic books out to catch people’s eyes. Then switch the TV on, dim the lights and keep it that way. Nothing hides a thick layer of grime like an absence of light!
Redistribute Mess
This is the ultimate tip, and can become a true art form if performed well. Simply take the mess from one area of the room, and move it to another. If you have a large bookshelf or screen that you can utilise to hide the new location, then all the better. Piling things always makes them look more organised than throwing them ever – so pile and leave it on the floor if you have to.
Hide It!
Oh yes, you don’t have to leave this technique behind with your messy teenage years! The only difference is that now you are an adult you will have bigger cupboards to stuff things in, whole rooms that you can utilize and even an attic for boxes of stuff you simple can’t face sorting. Denial is the name of the game for this one!
Scented Candles
These are the saving grace of my messy stinky little life! I simply light warm sweet flavours in the living room, cinnamon cooking flavours in the kitchen, clean linen ones in the bedroom, and those horrible soap smelling ones for the bathroom. They make everything smell nice and clean and often people ignore the large dust monsters blowing through your hallways!
With all these methods utilised visitors will have to think that your house is clean and wonderfully inviting – leaving them wondering how on earth you manage it! Houdini, eat your heart out!
Image via x-ray delta one's Flickr